The Artist Formerly Known as Oehm-Doggy

Not good.

2010-05-18T20:25:00.000-07:00

TUESDAY

151 lbs

No exercise :( Sore from yesterday. Lazy.

Bagel w/creme cheese

3 bud lights

Cheeseburger

Sweet potato fries

Salad

Not good.

Starting Fresh

2010-05-17T16:56:00.001-07:00

I need to motivate and organize. I am going to do it here, even if no one reads anymore.

MONDAY

154 lbs

Banana

Yogurt

Nutrisystem Bar

Subway sandwich

30 day shred level 1

GOALS FOR THE WEEK

1. Exercise every day

2. Finish laundry

3. Call Jill's BIL and get house

4. Pack 3 more boxes

5. 4/7 days of all healthy food

6. Change sheets on beds

7. Finalize going away festivity dates

8. Transfer $$ to HSA

9. Mail TIAA-CREF stuff

10. Football tickets?

11. Car accident $

12. Pay Sallie Mae

Couldn't have said it better myself

2007-04-18T14:01:00.001-07:00

VIRGINIA TECH Shootings: As a nation, are we just plain bored with death?
Current mood: depressed
Category: News and Politics

I haven't blogged for awhile, but I'm feeling very sad and I'm wondering if any of you are, too.

This Virginia Tech school shooting is so haunting. The day of the shooting, my friend Brian and I were saying one of the things we remember most about college was the feeling of safety when we were in a classroom among our peers. The rest of the world could be falling apart, but in class, reality seemed suspended for the 45 minutes we spent soaking our brains with knowledge. If I was still in school, I'm sure that feeling would be forever altered.

I've listened to the biographies of these young people and some not-as-young professors: people just makin' their way like the rest of us.....so many lives ruined for nothing.

One of the things I find most troubling is there is no clear-cut answer as to why or how to prevent this in the future. This kid--like all the other school shooters--had written foreshadowing papers for his teachers....papers that were ignored. But so many young people go through periods of darkness and find writing a great source of release. So do we pull aside each one of those kids and treat them like potential killers? Do we risk silencing their warnings altogether if we do that?

And what about security on campuses? Do we make them all like prisons to assure our kids won't be mowed down while learning Shakespeare? The concept is preposterous.

Certainly, actions need to be taken much sooner than the 2 hours it took these school administrators, but exactly what does that entail?

Doing nothing to try to protect our youth is a crime, itself.

Another thing I found troubling today and yesterday was the number of people not talking about this. Maybe it's because I'm in California--the state that thinks it's in a protective bubble from the rest of the real world. A co-worker of mine walked into work today asking why the flags were flying at half-mast. I said, "For the shooting, of course." She said, "Oh. What shooting?"

I remember the morning of Columbine and it was the only topic of the day. Fifteen people died that day.

On Monday, 33 people were murdered in the worst shooting in U.S. history. Have we grown so used to deaths in the thousands from Iraq that 33 is a good day?

I don't understand. I feel so helpless. Massacring young people in a place of learning is about the deepest you can cut our nation.

Has anybody else had any thoughts on this the past few days?

Responses:

Posted by Jason on Wednesday, April 18, 2007 at 1:49 AM
I tried to find out if there was ever worse bloodletting on our soil. (not counting wars) I found out soon enough that it was the worst ever. Is it true? Do we all just accept the fact that school shootings happen? I must admit that I'm not as shocked as I was in the mid-1990's when they started happening ... when I was working in high schools as a student teacher.

I have no good answer for you. In my job as a local news reporter in a small market, we had a good year as far as fatalities. Then, in these last two weeks, we have had five. I had to be on the scene for four of them as the only television reporter covering them. So much for the good year. Since then I've given my notice. I don't like it anymore.

I agree with you. I can't remember feeling more safe than in my college classroom ... even moreso than in the high school classroom. In college, I knew everyone on a different level, or at least thought I did. It felt more adult. It felt more safe.

It's not fun. I don't like it. I don't have a good answer for your questions. But I am glad you blogged about it.

E-mails

Browsing through myspace profiles, one student named Jonathan wrote a blog about cherishing life and not sweating the small stuff. But the ironic thing is he wrote it 3 hours BEFORE the shooting. Here are our e-mails.

Date: Apr 18, 2007 10:43 AM

Jonathan,

Amazing that you wrote that blog just hours before the shooting. Our thoughts and prayers go out to you and everyone at your school from the west coast. ~Juliana

His reponse:

Apr 17, 2007 11:13 PM

Dear Juliana, It is amazing that I did write that blog not so long ago, and this tragic event just reinforces the entire message of that blog exponentially. I sincerely thank you for your thoughts and prayers - it's been unreal and shocking here at VT; we are devastated. The Virginia Tech community and I really appreciate your prayers, and we are strengthened by the goodness in people in light of these tragic events. I have been getting messages like yours from all over the world, as far as Japan. Your message means a lot to me. Thank You, Jonathan Vin Murphy Virginia Tech, Blacksburg, VA

Apr 17, 2007 11:59 PM

Dear Jonathan, Thank you so much for writing me back. I graduated from college not too long ago. And one of the things I remember most about college is feeling safe when I was in a classroom with my peers. I can't imagine what it would be like to have to go back to class now. Do you feel like your sense of safety will never be the same? On the news, we keep hearing that the school administrators did not do enough. Do you feel like they could have done more to prevent the second shootings? ~Juliana
He read it, but did not respond.

Next one.

Apr 18, 2007 12:16 AM

Betsyboo,

Please know the nation is thinking about you and wishing there was something we could do to fix it. ~Juliana
Her response:

Apr 18, 2007 6:45 AM

You don't understand what messages like this mean to us students. It is unreal how many people are praying, and how much we mean it. Thank you so much for taking the time for the note, it is truly amazing. Please take care and just be sure to tell your loved one how much you love them, you never know what the day will bring. Love, Betsy

That's all for now.

And, oh. I love you.

What Have I Gotten Myself Into???

2007-04-11T15:16:00.000-07:00

MEMO TO ALL STAFF:

On Monday April 16, we will hold the 1st Annual CCE Eating Contest. Jayme , Natalie and Jin will compete for the title of "CCE Eating Champion". Participants will compete to see who can eat the most Taco Bell Original Tacos (crunchy, corn taco shell filled with seasoned ground beef, crisp, shredded lettuce). The event will be partially sponsored by Oscar Cruz. Your contribution will greatly be appreciated.

DATE: Monday April 16

TIME: 12:00 pm

LOCATION: Lunch Patio

EVENT: 1st Annual CCE Eating Contest

Hawaii!!

2007-04-10T16:07:00.000-07:00

So, Dyl and I are going on vacation in Maui in October. I am soooo excited! I know for sure that I want to do the following:

The road to Hana
Helicopter tour
Dinner cruise

Does anyone (all 2 of you who read this :)) know of anything else that we should definitely do?

Funny from Craigslist

2007-04-02T13:09:00.000-07:00

"Need Help"

Please Help!! After two long years of being on a waiting list for a dog, we have been notified by the breed rescue that, at long last, our number has come up and... WE ARE HAVING A PUPPY!! We must get rid of our children IMMEDIATELY because we just know how time consuming our new little puppy is going to be and it just wouldn't be fair to the children. Since our little puppy will be arriving Monday we must place the children up for adoption this weekend! They are described as:

One male Child--His name is Tommy, Caucasian (English/Irish mix), light blonde hair, blue eyes. Four years old. Excellent disposition. He doesn't bite. Temperament tested. Does have a problem with peeing directly into the toilet. He has had the chicken pox and is current on all his shots. Tonsils have already been removed. Tommy eats everything and is very clean, house trained and gets along with others. Does not run with scissors and with a little training he should be able to read soon.

One female child--Her name is Lexie, Caucasian(English/irish mix), strawberry blonde hair, green eyes, quite freckled. Two years old. Can be surly at times. Non-biter, thumb sucker. Has been temperament tested but needs a little attitude adjusting occasionally. She is current on all shots still has her tonsils, is very healthy and can be affectionate. Gets along with other little girls but does not like to share her toys and therefore would do best in a one child household. She is a very quick learner and is currently working on her housetraining. Shouldn't take long at all.

We really do LOVE our children so much and want to do what's right for them. That is why we contacted a rescue group. We simply can no longer keep them. Also we are afraid they may hurt our new puppy. I hope you understand that ours is a UNIQUE situation and we have a real emergency here! They must be placed into your rescue by Sunday night at the latest or we will be forced to drop them off at the orphanage or along some dark, country road. Our priority now has to be our new puppy.

All That Jazz

2007-03-19T18:42:00.000-07:00

One of my neighbors comes home every single day with the Chicago soundtrack blasting out of their car so loud that I can hear it from my apartment. I will admit that I love me some show tunes and I do own that particular CD, but EVERY DAY? And must it be so loud?

I am a dumbass

2007-03-19T16:15:00.000-07:00

If a group of people are talking about Russian government and the politics of the OLIGARCHY, it is good not to misunderstand them and think that they are talking about the politics of the OLIVE GARDEN.

Seriously? In 2007?

2007-03-19T16:12:00.000-07:00

Today, March 19, 2007, I have been taken off of TWO different projects because I am a woman. In one case, there is some old man who refuses to work with women. In the other, my boss seems to think that I don't "exude authority" the way a man would. I call bullshit.

I should have stayed in Nashville.

Getting Old

2007-02-21T15:31:00.000-08:00

I just turned 27 years old. I am a married, professional woman. My best friend is having a baby. I decided that it was time to face the fact that I am getting older. It was time to take the plunge, so I did it.

I took out my belly button ring.

I have had it for 9 years. The hole will probably never heal completely. My stomach looks wierd without it. I didn't think that I even noticed it anymore, but now that it isn't there, I kind of miss it. I will not put it back in though. I refuse to be one of those people who hold on to youth by doing things that are WAY too young for them.

Next thing you know I will drive a mini-van and wear elastic waisted pants. I do have to draw one line though...I am not cutting my hair.

Name Nash's Baby

2007-02-20T11:50:00.000-08:00

Ok Nash, here is a preliminary list...let me know what you like and don't like so that I can adjust the suggestions based on your style preferences :)

Charlotte (nn Charlie)
Margaret (nn Daisy or Maggie)
Elinor or Eleanor (nn Ellie or Nellie)
Amelia
Claire
Paige
Leah
Rose
Annabelle
Evelyn (nn Evie)
Stella
Greta
Alice
Ruby
Fiona
Meredith
Anna
Adelaide
Lauren
Lydia
Marianne
Violet
Lila
Eliza
Matilda
Mallory
Bridget
Gretchen
Molly
Nora
Jillian

Fab Five Freddy

2007-02-14T13:44:00.000-08:00

So, the guy from the Blondie song...you know, "Fab Five Freddie told me everybody's high, DJ's spinnin' a set in my mind...Flash is fast, Flash is cool..." is a real guy! I didn't know that!

Is this a theme?

2007-02-02T15:07:00.000-08:00

So while I was watching Scrubs last night where one couple has a new baby and two other couples are expecting, my brother called to let me know that come September I am going to be an aunt!

Hooray and all...but DAMN DAWGS! It seems to be catching...

Cannot believe this just happened!

2007-01-30T14:46:00.000-08:00

I just flushed my sunglasses.

They were hooked onto the waistband of my sweater and when I flushed the toilet they fell and went down so fast that there wasn't anything I could do to stop it. I can't believe that they actually went all the way down.

Telling the office manager to call the plumber now...

(And if I get them back, I am running them through the dishwasher and going back to wearing them!!)

Top Ten Constitutional Pick Up Lines

2007-01-29T16:05:00.000-08:00

(These were written by a high school class in Indiana...)

10) I'll due your process
9) I'd like to check those balances
8) I'll habeas your corpus
7) I'll give you just compensation for the use of your private property
6) You have the right to assemble peacefully in my lower house
5) Why don't you come over and we'll form a more perfect union
4) I'll show you search and seizure
3) Come over to my place and we will do things that aren't necessary or proper
2) Do you wanna see my executive brance?
1) It might be cruel and unusual, but it's not punishment

And in conclusion, don't for get to always use equal protection!

American education rules!!

Names For Peanut!!

2007-01-23T15:47:00.000-08:00

Since you asked for them...

1) Paolo Adonis Franke (Sounds like an athletic name!)
2) Telesphore Habib Franke (I swear Telesphore is a name)
3) Hartmut Yaakov Franke (Very Germanic!)
4) Winchester Colt Franke (For the gun lovers)
5) Barnabas Anatoly Franke ( I just liked this one)

Of course that is just if Peanut is a boy. If needed next month I will come up with all new ones for girls...

Bored

2007-01-11T16:10:00.000-08:00

I am suffering from a serious lack of motivation these days...I have work that I should do, but I just really don't feel like doing it. There are even fun things that I can do, but I don't feel like doing those either. I could:

1) Plan the vacation that D and I are going on to Hawaii in October
2) Spend my i-tunes gift card that I got for Christmas
3) Go online and buy baby presents to stock up for summer
4) Book my plane tickets for some work trips (I do consider this fun for some reason)
5) Go home and watch tv and do laundry (not really fun, but better than work)
6) Go to the dive bar and drink beer with old guys

Eh. Blah.

It's in the water...

2007-01-09T16:27:00.000-08:00

So pretty much everyone I know is pregnant:

Nash
Co-worker Jennifer
Boss Kaci
Co-worker Kerri
Co-worker Wendy
High school friend Allison
High school friend Leyna

Fine. So that isn't actually everyone I know, but 7 people is a lot of people. This is crazy...

Various and Sundry

2006-12-18T16:16:00.000-08:00

Did you know that one of the first body parts that one develops in utero is the appendix?

Margo, do you mean the game where you are the fish and you have do decide to swim up or down to eat chum and avoid birds? Hmmm... something lake?

Aha! Odell Lake! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Odell_Lake

Awesome!!!

Name that computer game...

2006-12-06T16:53:00.000-08:00

Wussy

2006-11-29T12:06:00.000-08:00

It is 49 degrees outside right now and I am freezing. Too cold to smoke. Too cold to go to my car to run errands over lunch. Wearing a sweater.

So, I am going to the Big 12 Championship game in KC this weekend...the high temp on Saturday is 35 degrees. The game is at night. It will probably be about 20 degrees by then.

If I can't survive 49 degrees, what am I going to do in 20 degrees? When did I become such a wuss?

Dylan's New Tattoo

2006-11-27T13:44:00.000-08:00

Thank god the old one is gone!!!

In my next life

2006-11-27T13:33:00.000-08:00

I want to come back as an Ethopian person living in America. My buddy Fasil at work is the former Ethopian national lightweight boxing champion. He is famous in his home country. This, added on to the fact that Ethopians can apparently scan a crowd and pick out their fellow countrymen from about 500 yards, means that whenever I travel with Fasil, we make friends. And by friends, I mean that we get free stuff. Hotel upgrades, free ice cream at the airport, taxi rides...the whole shebang. The free stuff is nice, don't get me wrong, but that isn't actually why I want to be Ethopian. Mostly it's just a really nice and interesting thing how there is such a community among a pretty small group of people, even when they are all spread out. Fasil never feels alone when he travels, as there is always "family" nearby. And free ice cream.

Back by popular demand

2006-11-27T13:28:00.000-08:00

Ok fine. Popular demand means that 2 people said that if I wrote more on the blog that they would read it. Either way, we are all tired of looking at the Birmingham teeth comments.

So, Oehmdoggy is back!

Roll Tide Roll

2006-09-08T12:41:00.000-07:00

This is not a judgement in any way, only an observation, but many people in Birmingham don't have teeth.

Whew

2006-08-30T15:40:00.000-07:00

Somehow, after 6 years of never going out, never doing anything and not having many friends in California, I have developed a social life. I don't know how it happened. I have gone out every night since Thursday last week. I am very tired and ready for a night home alone with my new DVR, but also really happy that I have stuff to do that isn't related to work or class.

Can't believe that our anniversary is on Sunday...

The Rest of the Story

2006-08-22T16:37:00.000-07:00

I ate so much barbeque that I may be part pork shoulder by now.

I walked with my feet ten feet of of Beale.

Beale looks like New Orleans. It was disappointing.

I got back to my country roots and got a cowboy hat.

I taught some really random people how to line dance.

I was asked to be a bridesmaid at some random couple's wedding just for being present during the engagement.

Nashville bars open at 10 AM and start in with the live music right away.

I never knew the true meaning of swampass until now.

I can't wait to go back!!!

For Some Reason There is a Full Size Parthenon in Nashville

2006-08-22T16:36:00.000-07:00

This is it. There is a big Athena inside, but my camera ran out of batteries at this very moment.

R.I.P. Elvis Aaron Presley

2006-08-22T16:34:00.000-07:00

He really is dead. And, despite being very cool, his house isn't that big.

How Do I Live Without You?

2006-08-22T16:32:00.000-07:00

And then we saw Leanne Rimes. That girl can wail.

Right up front for this one too. Silly that I have to leave Los Angeles to see some good famous people up close.

So Much to Say...

2006-08-22T16:27:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a long one :)

I went to Nashville for work. It was the best work trip ever. Partly due to the fact that the artist formerly known as OC and now known as TN was there. Tootsies Orchid Lounge is the COOLEST bar on the planet. We attended Kid Rock and Pam Anderson's wedding reception by accident there. Here is Kid playing during the festivities:

I was right up front. It was nuts. I almost died by smothering, but it was worth it.

This house costs $300,000 in the San Fernando Valley

2006-07-27T19:17:00.000-07:00

I need to move.

Crazy Fall

2006-07-25T11:45:00.000-07:00

I am about to have a heart attack. I just realized that my fall schedule looks like this:

Sept. 7-11: Birmingham for work
Sept. 13-17: My entire family is here for the football game on the 16th
Sept. 18-Oct. 4: Travelling around Europe
Oct. 4: fly from London straight to Denver for work
Oct. 5-9: work conference in Denver
Oct. 21-25: work conference in KC
Oct. 27-29: Court (and hopefully OC) will be in town visiting
Nov. 17-21: work conference in DC

I am seriously having a panic attack right now.

2006-07-21T14:08:00.000-07:00

I had my first freak-out dream about the Europe trip last night. Nothing too interesting, just the standard we were standing in London and I realized that we didn't have any of the paperwork with us for the hotels or transportation or tickets or even passports. We didn't know where we were supposed to go or if we could leave the airport without passports. I woke up with my heard pounding like crazy. I hope that this doesn't happen often between now and Sept.

My professor for Research Methods class is a dick. Last night there were big signs up in the parking lot saying that they would be doing construction and that all cars left in the lots after 10 would be towed. We told the professor this at 9:30 so that he could wrap up his lecture in time to get us to our cars by 10. What did he do instead? Lecture until 10:10. Dick. If my car had been towed, I would have sent him the bill. Luckily we got to the lot just in time...there was already a police car there ready to start towing us. I am so ready to be done. One more week!

Dans le Noir

2006-07-18T12:02:00.000-07:00

So, when we are in Europe in a couple of months, we are going to go to this restaurant called Dans le Noir (in the dark) for dinner in Paris. Basically the concept is that you eat in total darkness and are served by blind waiters. It's supposed to heighten the taste and smell of the food since you can't see it. You know the menu beforehand, so it's not like they bring out nasty stuff (or maybe they do and it's all a trick!). Mostly I just think that it's something different and fun.

When Dyl told one of his coworkers about this, she told us about a friend of hers who ate at a NINJA RESTAURANT in Japan. They jump out at you and flip around and bring your food. I want to go there too! It could be a hobby...travelling around the world, going to outlandish theme restaurants...

Hot

2006-07-14T13:36:00.000-07:00

It is a million degrees outside.

California is on fire.

I am nervous about my comp exam tomorrow.

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.

My Heart is Full and my Body is Tired

2006-07-07T16:51:00.000-07:00

Quick recap of the vaca to the LNC:

Sat: Arrive in OMA, eat dinner w/ the rents at Cheeseburger in Paradise, see Ian's new house (it kicks ass), meet Straub and Nik and Nik's new man (Mike) for drinks.

Sun: Brunch with the fam, BBQ at Nik's, golf with the rents, dinner at home, drinks and karaoke w/ Nik and Mike

Mon: Slept in, lunch with Conklin-Langtry (she got really skinny), shopping at Von Maur (good thing we don't have that here), Pedi's with Aunt Karen and McKenzy, met Straub for a drink, 90's trivia game and booze at Nik's

Tues: Drove to Omaha to see Conklin-Langtry and my fabu fake nieces, drove back to the LNC, helped Ian install kickass new big flat panel TV, party at Aunt Karen's and Uncle Pat's, Party at Demma's.

Wed: Slept in, lunch at Tico's, drove to OMA, got on plane, flew, rerouted to Oklahoma City because of weather in Dallas, sat there, flew to Dallas, sat there, sat there some more, finally get to Burbank at like midnight.

Now I get to study for comps all weekend. Sucky. I need a nap.

Did Not Drown

2006-06-30T13:04:00.000-07:00

I made it back from D.C. alive. I was wet. Very very wet. But alive.

Got to see some old friends...very fun.

Played silly drinking games with my coworkers...also very fun.

Sat in the airport for 12 hours...not fun.

Going to Lincoln tomorrow...fun.

M--there is a bbq at Nikki's on Sunday at noon...you should go. Not quite the bloggy bear picnic, but good anyway :) I could bring jagger...

More funny

2006-06-19T12:10:00.000-07:00

Abu al Zarqawi died, George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates. He slapped him across the face and yelled, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!" Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed!" James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, "This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!" Thomas Jefferson was next. He beat alZarqawi with a long cane and snarled, "It was evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence." The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist leader. As alZarqawi lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared. AlZarqawi wept and said, "This is not what you promised me." The Angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?"

Funny Funny Funny

2006-06-14T15:33:00.000-07:00

From the Manitoba Herald, Canada

The Canadian Immigration Problem
by Hal Johnson

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The actions of President Bush are prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly. Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. "He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?" In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk." Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves. "A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though." When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races. In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the '50s. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said. Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies. "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?" In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said. We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The President is determined to reach out," he said.

Nashville

2006-06-13T11:32:00.000-07:00

Now that OC is leaving for TN (you will need a new nickname by the way!), I figure that we need to learn some stuff about the volunteer state.

The name "Tennessee" originated from the old Yuchi Indian word, "Tana-see," meaning "The Meeting Place."

Tennesseeans are sometimes referred to as Butternuts, a tag which was first applied to Tennessee soldiers during the Civil War because of the tan color of their uniforms.

The capitol building was designed by noted architect William Strickland, who died during its construction and is buried within its walls.

A replica of The Parthenon, the famous ancient Greek building in Athens, Greece, stands in Nashville's Centennial Park.

The Great Smoky Mountains National Park is the most visited national park in the United States. The park was named for the smoke-like bluish haze that often envelops these fabled mountains.

Reputed "Turtle Capital of the World," Reelfoot Lake also features thousands of sliders, stinkpots, mud and map turtles.

The largest earthquake in American history, the New Madrid Earthquake occurred in the winter of 1811-12 in northwestern Tennessee. Reelfoot Lake located in Obion and Lake Counties was formed during this earthquake.

The city of Murfreesboro lies in the exact geographical center of the state.

Andrew Johnson held every elective office at the local, state, and federal level, including President of the United States. He was elected alderman, mayor, state representative, and state senator from Greeneville. He served as governor and military governor of Tennessee and United States congressman, senator, and vice president, becoming President of the United States following the assassination of Abraham Lincoln.

It is very far away from my house.

Total Est. Time: 28 hours, 53 minutes Total Est. Distance: 2016.17 miles
1: Start out going WEST on VENTURA BLVD toward VAN NUYS BLVD.
<0.1 miles
2: Turn RIGHT onto VAN NUYS BLVD.
0.3 miles
3: Merge onto US-101 S.
3.8 miles
4: Take CA-134 E toward BURBANK / GLENDALE.
14.3 miles
5: Merge onto I-210 E.
18.6 miles
6: I-210 E becomes CA-210 E.
18.8 miles
7: Merge onto I-15 N toward BARSTOW.
67.6 miles
8: Merge onto I-40 E (Passing through ARIZONA- NEW MEXICO- TEXAS- OKLAHOMA- and ARKANSAS- then crossing into TENNESSEE).
1693.4 miles
9: Merge onto I-40 E via EXIT 12C on the LEFT toward NASHVILLE.
197.9 miles
10: Take EXIT 209 toward US-70 / CHARLOTTE AVE.
0.1 miles
11: Stay STRAIGHT to go onto 14TH AVE N.
<0.1 miles
12: Turn LEFT onto CHARLOTTE AVE / US-70 / TN-24. Continue to follow CHARLOTTE AVE.
0.5 miles
13: End at Nashville, TN US

Sad and happy all at the same time...

Inspiring Collagen Use in Newborns Everywhere

2006-06-06T13:32:00.000-07:00

Camping is Fun

2006-05-30T15:46:00.000-07:00

How cowboy are we?

Big Bear was beautiful. It is really fun to offroad in the Jeep. It isn't so much fun to offroad in the Neon. Our horses, Blaze and Pigeon, were homosexual lovers. Tents are warmer if you zip them closed. The Lumberjack Cafe is a must for anyone visiting Big Bear Lake City. I kind of want an ATV, but I fear that it would make me trashy. I am really sunburned. I want to go on vacation again very soon. Working sucks when it is gorgeous outside.

Neiman. Out.

What to do?

2006-05-19T11:36:00.000-07:00

I do not have a three year plan. I wish I could come up with one. So, I will be finished with my Masters in July. Then what? I can't just sit at home every night waiting for Dyl to get home. So here are the possibilities:

1) Get a masters in political science from CSUN
2) Get certified in French and/or Spanish from the local community college so that I am fluent
3) Become addicted to the gym and go every day
4) Night law school? (it's like 4 nights a week...that's hardcore!)
5) Try to find a hobby?
6) Keep trying to get side work as a grantwriter (haven't been able to so far)

I'm not an overachiever, I'm just bored and lonely after work when no one is around.

I tried yoga this week. I liked it, but it smelled like feet. If I ever got another tattoo, I would get the OM symbol (look it up, it's cute). I think that it would be a nice, meaningful and clever tattoo for me.

Off to write a paper on motivating nonprofit employees. Ironic that I am writing that paper at work instead of actually doing work...

Namaste

Fishy

2006-05-11T16:25:00.000-07:00

When an eel bites your thigh and you just want to cry...that's a moray.

There's a fish in that reef with a whole lotta teeth... that's a moray.

Put your hand it that crack and you won't get it back...that's a moray.

Smoking in Calabasas

2006-05-10T14:25:00.000-07:00

As some of you may have heard, the great city of Calabasas, CA (where I work) passed a big ordinance regarding smoking in public places. Basically you can't smoke outside if someone asks you to stop. So, Ed is smoking a cigarette over in a isolated place far away from anyone. Jill spies Ed partaking of his vice. Jill walks within 20 feet, and suddenly Ed is now a criminal, not for what he was doing, but because Jill decided walk over to him. Ed must now leave, or be forced to alter his behavior immediately. Ed leaves the area, and Jill continues to follow, demanding that he extinguish his cigarette or be in violation of the law. Ed must eventually be subservient to Jill or face up to 6 months in jail and $1000 fine.

This happened to me today at lunch. I was walking across the parking lot to my car, minding my own business, enjoying my Camel Light. A woman, who was not even close to me, yells out "that's illegal". I yell back "only if I was close to you and you asked me to stop", thinking that would be the end of it. Instead she got closer to me and smirked and told me to put it out. Screw the law and screw the rich old woman who had nothing better to do. I did not put it out. I told her what she could do with herself. Well, not really, but I gave her a dirty look and continued walking. My coworker (a nonsmoker) who was with me threatened to punch her in the face for me though. It's nice when people have your back.

It's Over!

2006-05-04T14:06:00.000-07:00

National Finals is officially done for the year. New Jersey won (again), followed by California and Colorado. Luckily nothing went too wrong this year. I don't even feel like crying or killing anyone! And Brad Bare got to be a judge, which was just about the coolest thing ever, since he was on my team. If only Dr. Ted could see us now!

Me Too Dude, Me Too...

2006-04-25T15:56:00.000-07:00

Random

2006-04-24T12:33:00.000-07:00

1) I really wanted to become a foot fetish model until I learned that it only pays $20 a shoot.

2) I saw a license plate holder today that said "Clean since 1996 thanks to God and NA". Isn't the point of NA that it's supposed to be anonymous? And do you really want the entire world to know that you used to be a junky?

3) I leave Thursday for D.C. for National Finals. The blog after I returned from that trip last year was entitled "worst work trip ever". Needless to say, I am not really looking forward to this year.

4) I saw David Sedaris last night. If you haven't read any of his books, you should do so immediately. He is brilliant and hilarious.

5) I wonder if having the words "foot fetish" in this blog is going to do the same thing that "semen" did and get me really random comments.

Pirates!!!

2006-04-21T15:32:00.000-07:00

My pirate name is:

Iron Jenny Flint

A pirate's life isn't easy; it takes a tough person. That's okay with you, though, since you a tough person. Like the rock flint, you're hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you're easily chipped, and sparky. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.

See if this works...

2006-04-14T15:45:00.000-07:00

It did!!!

My Baby Brother Got Married!

2006-04-11T14:21:00.000-07:00

How cute are they? The wedding was the most fun ever (well, not quite as much fun as mine or OC's, but really really fun anyways!). We flew into San Antonio on Friday and drove straight to the rehearsal dinner, dressing in the car on the way. Saturday we got ready and headed over to the wedding location, a beautiful mansion out in the country for pictures and drinking. The wedding was beautiful and very short. The reception was the traditional eating, drinking, dancing affair, with great food, some theme drinks and wild and crazy fun all around. I got drunk. On Sunday, we had breakfast with the newlyweds and sent them off to Jamaica. Then me and Dyl, mom and Phil, Ian, Francis and Dorothy and Seth and Misty all went to San Antonio and hung out on the River Walk. We had great Mexican food and listened to Mariachi music (which Dylan LOVES). We saw the Alamo, but couldn't go inside because it was closed. It's not out in an open field like it looks in the movies...it is right smack dab in the middle of downtown. Overall, it was a great trip. Now we just have to get Ian married off...

Urgh

2006-04-06T14:58:00.000-07:00

I took a second job. I am now a campaign coordinator on the Alex Padilla for State Senate Campaign. It pays crap, but it pays more than the couch-sitting I usually do after work.

We leave tomorrow for Seth's wedding in Texas. Yee Haw.

I still haven't gotten my promotion at work or heard about the transfer. Boo.

I think I will have a bowl of Raisin Bran now.

Interesting Conversation

2006-03-29T13:42:00.000-08:00

I was just talking with one of my coworkers. He said that the word testimony (and related words like Testify) stem from an old tradition of men swearing on their balls. If that is truly the case, we should create a movement to have women breastify and give their breastimony. That would be sweet.

I leave for Tahoe in 3 hours and 25 minutes. Why am I still at work?

Why don't you people leave comments any more? OC? Bilko? Anyone?

Good Times, Great Oldies

2006-03-28T14:22:00.000-08:00

I am supposed to be on vacation this week, but I am at work instead. Ian came in last Tuesday, we went to Vegas Thurs-Sat, came back and hung out in Cali for a while. He left this morning and I leave for Tahoe tomorrow. I come back on Sunday and then leave the following Friday for Seth's wedding. I am a little tired just thinking about it!

Vegas was kickin'. For some reason a promoter decided she liked us and got us VIP admission and free drinks at Rain at the Palms and Body English at Hard Rock. I think I might still be drunk.

And will start all over tomorrow...just pray that Miss Q plays nice on vacation. It has been almost exactly one year since the last time she was unnecessarily mean to me, so we'll see...

Creepy Creepy Creepy

2006-03-20T16:04:00.000-08:00

So I wrote a couple of weeks ago about my colleague who passed away. Today I sent out a group email to a list-serv that he was supposed to have been removed from. I received a reply from his email address a few minutes later. Creepy. It said, "I am unable to respond to your email right now."

Very true. Very sad.

2006-03-10T09:44:00.000-08:00

This year's 10 winners of the Bulwer-Lytton contest, aka "Dark and Stormy Night Contest" (run by the English Department of San Jose State University), wherein one writes only the first line of a really bad novel:

10) "As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break wind in the echo chamber, he would never hear the end of it."

9) "Just beyond the Narrows, the river widens."

8) "With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned, unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that defied description."

7) "Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he crept along the East wall: 'Andre creep... Andre creep... Andre creep.'"

6) "Stanislaus Smedley, a man always on the cutting edge of narcissism, was about to give his body and soul to a back alley sex-change surgeon to become the woman he loved."

5) "Although Sarah had an abnormal fear of mice, it did not keep her from eeking out a living at a local pet store."

4) "Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat detached, but then again, penguins often do."

3) "Like an over-ripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor."

2) "Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'; a man who could laugh in the face of danger and spit in the eye of death -- in short, a total moron with suicidal tendencies."

AND THE WINNER IS...
1) "The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept along the greensward, and, with sickly fingers, pushed through the castle window, revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown asunder, gaping in frenzied horror at the sated, sodden amphibian lying beside her, disbelieving the magnitude of the frog's deception, screaming madly, 'You lied!"

Hee Hee...Kimmy!

2006-03-08T09:38:00.000-08:00

Just because it's funny.

Hee...Dana!

2006-03-08T09:30:00.000-08:00

I think she got him to wax his unibrow!

Hee Hee...Fro!

2006-03-08T09:29:00.000-08:00

Um, boobs much?

Did anyone else notice...

2006-03-07T10:57:00.000-08:00

That Michelle Williams brought her college roomate from Dawson's creek to the Oscars?

Holla Busy Phillips!!!

Peace the Spork Out

2006-03-07T10:53:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure what this actually mean, but it's what Trent says when someone dies. My friend and colleague Roy Erickson died over the weekend. Roy was one of the nicest and funniest people that I have had the pleasure of working with. He was a powerhouse in the civics field and a great smoke-break buddy. I am really going to miss him. I don't really know that many people who have died. :(

Farewell Dear Taco Bell

2006-03-01T10:56:00.000-08:00

I am giving up fast food for lent. This makes me VERY sad. It is all for the best though. My arteries will thank me.

I Suppose You Can't Get Mad...

2006-02-28T10:24:00.000-08:00

When your friend doesn't call you after you've had surgery if her excuse is that she has this:

PROCTITIS
Proctitis is an inflammation of the lining of the rectum causing pain, soreness, bleeding, and a discharge of mucus or pus. Complications from proctitis can range from the formation of ulcers and boils to severe bleeding. Proctitis related to ulcerative colitis may even evolve to include more widespread areas of the colon and other parts of the gastrointestinal tract.

Eeew.

In other news, I'm off to Philly next week on an unexpected work trip. Far more fun than Topeka. Cheesesteaks and Boyz II Men baby! My knee is healing well. Stitches came out yesterday, so now the next step is mastering stairs.

I am officially a published newspaper writer (unless the high school paper counts, then I already was). If you are interested in reading my fascinating article on parking in Sherman Oaks, see http://www.shermanoakssun.com/proof/SHOv3n3.pdf and look on pages 12-13. I'm practically famous.

Later gators :)

Bored...

2006-02-20T12:47:00.000-08:00

1) Went to SD. It was fricken cold.
2) Legislators should always be forced to play one another in basketball.
3) Had knee surgery on Friday. It hurts.
4) Someone in the LNC won the lottery. Margo, was it you?
5) Tax returns are the best.

Must hobble back to couch now....

Ashley is prettier...

2006-02-10T10:30:00.000-08:00

But I'd really rather hang out with Mary Kate (call me!).

1) Knee surgery a week from today. Not excited.
2) No matter what Dyl and his coworkers say, I do NOT look like Alyson Hannigan. Redheads do not all look alike. I truly empathize with the Asian women in my office who have such a problem being told apart.
3) My cats caught fleas at the vet. It makes me feel icky just to type it. I have never vacuumed so much in my life.
4) I leave Tuesday for Pierre, S.D. Happy fricken Valentines Day.
5) Flights are booked for Europe in September. Two and a half weeks of Ireland, Scotland, England and the Netherlands. Woo Hoo!
6) Nicole's birthday at the Dresden tonight and Chinese New Year variety show tomorrow night. More vacuuming in between.

All of the wrong turns and stumbles and falls brought me here...I am the luckiest.

Celebrity Sighting of the Week

2006-02-08T09:41:00.000-08:00

Why isn't it ever anyone good?

Lizard Pushups

2006-02-07T15:49:00.000-08:00

My office is pretty much in the desert. There are all of these cute little lizards that run around outside of the building. It always looks like they are doing push-ups. I was wondering what these push-ups were for, so I looked it up and then decided to share my newfound knowledge with the world.

"Lizards in the suborder Iguania communicate by doing push-ups and other athletic displays. They convey territoriality, courtship displays, and other messages with various combinations of push-ups, body postures, head movements, and displays of colorful belly patches or throat dewlaps. "

So, when they see me and then do push-ups, they are either threatened by me...or are trying to mate...

(K) Night Stalker

2006-02-03T10:41:00.000-08:00

So...sometimes I look people up on the internet. Not like Heath Ledger or Albert Einstein, but people that I used to know. Today I found my highschool *boyfriend*'s wedding webpage. He is getting married in June. The picture that they have up is really really really unflattering. Not that there aren't unflattering pictures of me out there in the world, but I wouldn't choose one of them to go on my wedding page myself.

He used to be so cute (or at least I thought so). I thought I would still have a mini-crush on him. Hells no.

Fricken Funny!

2006-01-26T17:11:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Defamer for making me giggle today!

Home Sweet Home

2006-01-26T13:23:00.000-08:00

I can't wait until tomorrow. I have my last strategic management class tonight, so come tomorrow, I will finally be able to do some laundry and go grocery shopping, and Adelphia-willing, chill and watch some TV (the cable has been out for 3 days now). The trip to NE was good, but I am fricken exhausted.

The basketball game was fab. Southeast beat Papillion like 65-30. Audrey was adorable, but didn't really dance. She mostly just stood there and gaped at the crowd. S got wasted later that night and acted like an idiot, but it was pretty entertaining. Monday night, I went out for a drink with N that turned into like 135 drinks and then I got my fabulous rental car (2006 Nissen Xterra) stuck by slipping off of a driveway into a yard that was terraced. I ended up having to call my brother to come and help me get out and it took until like 4 am. N actually got up and went to work the next morning. God bless her, I know I couldn't have done that. It was highly embarassing, but kinda funny nonetheless.

So my fave coworker gave her 2-weeks notice on Monday. She got a job at some fancy accounting firm in business development. It sucks because I am going to miss her, and because now I have even more work to do because they can't replace her yet because of the hiring freeze. Blah.

If I can just get through the rest of today and the day tomorrow, I can breathe again. Well, kinda...new class starts on Monday.

I'm tired.

LIfe as I know it

2006-01-18T13:48:00.000-08:00

1) Going home to NE on work's dime on Friday. Spending Saturday night at the old high school for a basketball game. I know I am a nerd, but I am so excited to go back and cheer for my Knights. I will just have to try and refrain from actually getting down there with the cheerleaders and showing them how it is really done.

2) My very first professional newspaper article is coming out on January 27. It is about parking in Sherman Oaks. Really exciting, right? I will post the link when I have it.

3) Shit hit the fan at work. The evil woman is gone :)

4) I have class from 6-10 every night for two weeks, starting yesterday. I already feel like I am going to die. The professor is French. When he gets tired, he is very hard to understand. It is a Strategic Management class. You are so jealous.

5) I registered for my last classes of the program. Integrative Seminar, Nonprofit Management and Organizational Theory. Personally, I have no theories on organization.

6) Welcome back Bilko and JG...hope the belated honeymoon was wonderful and perfect! I want to see some wedding pictures!

Love Love Love...

Jayme the Psychic

2006-01-09T15:41:00.000-08:00

Or maybe just Jayme the good guesser. So there is this girl at work. A couple of months ago she fainted and threw up during a meeting because of the "flu". She suddenly got engaged to her boyfriend of less than a year over the holidays. Her boobs are huge. She didn't drink at my Christmas party. I have long suspected that she is preggo. Today, she confirmed that she is, in fact, expecting a little one in May. I told her that I totally knew. She was very impressed.

In other news...

1) Christmas was wonderful. I had good times both with friends and family that I expect to have good times with and with friends and family that I wasn't expecting to have a good time with. It's nice to be a grown up and get past some of the old BS.
2) The birthday was good. Drinks with the girls Friday night. Shopping, dinner and Billy Crystal on Saturday night with the husband. Kickin' new cowboy boots that need to be broken in. New jeans. Cute sweater.
3) Work trip to Reno last week. Very productive. Reno is a nice place. I won $70 off of a quarter and four aces in the video poker machine.
4) I get to go back to the LNC next week for work. I also get to attend the Southeast basketball game on the 21st to watch a friend's niece perform at half time. I hope that I will be able to resist the urge to join the cheerleaders on the court.
5) Not going to New Zealand in March anymore. Boo. I don't want to talk about it, but the plan is to go to Ireland, Scotland and England in the fall instead.
6) Baby brother bought a house. Now both of my younger brothers are homeowners. Jealous.
7) We want to move to Chicago. It's Nikki's fault. They have really cute condos there.

Later...

I Didn't Write This

2005-12-16T09:10:00.000-08:00

It's Christmas in Nebraska,
And the gentle breezes blow,
About seventy miles an hour
And its fifty-two below,
You can tell you're in Nebraska
'Cause the snow's up to your butt.
And you take a breath of Christmas air
And your nostrils both freeze shut.
The weather here is wonderful,
So I guess I'll hang around,
I could never leave Nebraska--
My feet are frozen to the ground!

----Unknown

As Time Goes By

2005-12-15T10:09:00.000-08:00

Last night a friend called me, freaking out because she had seen someone in a LSE cheerleading jacket with '08 on the arm. She felt old. We had a long wierd conversation about time passing. I realized that in that it has been 8 years since I graduated from high school, I am the same person that would have graduated in 1990 when I was a senior (does that make sense?). When I was 18, if you would have asked me what I thought about the people who had graduated 8 years ago, I would have laughed as I thought about their bad hair and clothing. They would have seemed so very old. Am I that old now? Do current high schoolers laugh at us?

10 years ago: I was breathlessly anticipating my 16th birthday. KT would get her license in 4 days and we would skip 2nd period (orchestra for her, study hall for me) and go to McDonalds. We would spend most of our time for the next couple of years driving around aimlessly. We listened to the new Alanis CD, Jagged Little Pill. I loved a boy named Brad. I worked at the Pantry.

5 years ago: I had just moved to Los Angeles, actually Torrence, with Dyl. I was working for a marketing company that was a big ol' scam. I was trying to figure out how to finish college. I took classes at the community college. I was breathlessly anticipating my 21st birthday. I got a second cat.

1 year ago: I was planning my wedding and breathlessly anticipating OCs because it was closer. I bought my bridesmaid dress.

Yesterday: Was a Wednesday. I finished up my paper for Intergovernmental Relations, so I am now done with this quarter. I only have 3 classes to go before I get that lovely piece of paper with the letters MPA on it. I was deliciously lazy and had groceries delivered to my house. I made roasted pork tenderloin. I developed a gigantic headache and went to bed early.

Time is a funny thing.

Cows...Part Deux

2005-12-14T14:12:00.000-08:00

DEMOCRATIC
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature' s private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.T
hey go into hiding.
They send audio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally > vote for the black one. Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegal. A
rnold likes the ones with the big udders

This is the Kind of Thing...

2005-12-14T09:13:00.000-08:00

That my husband emails me.

Monday, Bloody Monday

2005-12-12T10:44:00.000-08:00

1) This morning I parked my car in the parking lot at work. I went inside. A little later I went back outside to buy a Diet Dr. Pepper from the machine. I noticed that my car was in the middle of the drive way. I had apparently forgotten to set the parking break. I had to push it back (I didn't have my keys on me since I had just gone down for a soda) and a million people saw me and laughed.

2) I find out this afternoon if I need knee surgery. Turns out that I not only have a meniscal tear (which I kind of knew I had), I also have a congenital knee deformity. That's right kids, deformity! "Every knee has a medial and lateral meniscus which are C-shaped pieces of fibrocartilage that absorb stress and act as cushions between the bones at the knee."
http://www.emedicine.com/orthoped/topic76.htm
Apparently rather than nice normal C-shaped menisci, I have disc shaped ones. Crazy.

3) Wonderful and fabulous mini-vacay to the Central Coast this weekend...pictures and details to come.

4) 12 days until I get to go back to the LNC! 13 days till Christmas! Keeping my fingers crossed for that gorgeous Dooney and Bourke bag!

5) If you are one of my L.A. peeps, don't forget to RSVP for the Holiday Cocktail party at chez nous on the 22nd!

6) Must go back to working on "Helping Teachers or Harming Students? An Analysis of California's Teacher Tenure Policy" How jealous of me are you?

Lates...

Thank you Margo for giving me a distraction from work!

2005-12-05T14:39:00.000-08:00

7 things I plan to do before I die:
1: See my great-grandchildren
2: Visit every continent
3: Speak French and Spanish fluently
4: Celebrate my 50th wedding anniversary
5: Own a house
6: Own a pair of Manolo Blahniks
7: Get myself a spot on the distinguished alumni wall at LSE :)

7 things I can do well:
1. Cooking
2. Making conversation
3. Parallel parking
4. Playing Scrabble
5. Driving with a shift stick while talking on the phone and smoking a ciggy
6. Dancing
7. Multitasking

7 things I cannot do:
1: Math
2: Tell the difference between an n-dash and an m-dash.
3: Sing
3: Drink gin
4: Be patient with stupid people (but I am working on it!)
5: Watch movies after 11:00 without falling asleep
6: Go three weeks without a pedicure and eyebrow wax
7: Keep my desk organized

7 things that attract me to another person:
1: Pretty eyes
2:Conversation
3: Height
4: Arms
5: Smile
6: Sense of humor
7: Intelligence

7 things I say most often:
1: "Drinks after work?"
2: "District X is low in textbook distribution and is a key district politically"
3: "Dyl, when are you coming home?"
4: "That's why they pay us the big bucks"
5: "When I am done with school..."
6: "Back in Lincoln..."
7: "Are you KIDDING me?"

3 screen names I have:
1: Oehmster, the one and only screen name I have had since 1996
2:
3:

3 physical things I like about myself:
1: My hair
2: My booty
3: My feet

3 physical things I don't like about myself:
1: My freckles
2: My calves
3: My arms

3 parts of my heritage:
1: German
2: German
3: German

3 things that scare me:
1: Gory movies
2: Getting old
3: Cars merging into me

3 of my everyday essentials:
1: Diet Coke
2: www.pinkisthenewblog.com
3: Camel Lights

3 of my favorite musicians:
1: Dave Matthews
2: Sheryl Crow
3: The Cure

3 of my favorite songs:
1: Just Like Heaven (The Cure)
2: Hey Jealousy (Gin Blossoms)
3: Wish You Were Here (Pink Floyd)

3 things I want in a relationship:
1: Fun
2: Loyalty
3: Trust

3 lies:
1: I am looking forward to class tonight
2: The weight listed on my driver's license
3: I voted for G.W.B

3 of my hobbies right now:
1: Reading
2: Trying to think of hobbies to try
3: Not trying them

3 things I want to do really badly now (with a special someone):
1: Go to the Sweep and have a beer
2: Get on a plane and go to the LNC where it actually feels like winter and my mom would make me dinner
3: Be done with this part of my schooling

3 careers I've considered doing:
1: Lobbyist
2: Housewife
3: Nonprofit consultant

3 places I would like to go on vacation to:
1: Buenos Aires (Sept. 2006 baby!)
2: Ireland
3: Rome

3 kid's names I like:
1: Julia Grace
2: James Patrick
3: Eliza Madelyn

3 ways that I'm a stereotypical guy:
1: I can get ready in 5 minutes flat
2: I love Hooter's chicken wings
3: I love college football

3 ways that I'm a stereotypical girl:
1: I would have a baby right now if I could afford it
2: I love cheezy shows like Laguna Beach
3: I am cold all of the time

3 people I would like to see take this quiz:
1: No preferences :)
2:
3:

Baby, It's Cold Outside

2005-11-29T11:04:00.000-08:00

I am supposed to be in Pierre, SD right now. I flew all the way to Denver yesterday, only to turn around five hours later and fly back to L.A. because of the horrid weather. Complete waste of my time, but hey, I don't really want to be there right now anyway!

Viva Los Angeles. It may suck in many ways, but the coldest it has been in my 5.5 years of living here is like 45 degrees. It is currently 61 degrees. I'm actually a little chilly :)

No Way!

2005-11-29T11:00:00.000-08:00

According to a shopping survey performed by the American Farm Bureau Federation, a traditional Thanksgiving meal for 10 people — including turkey, stuffing, cranberries and pumpkin pie — will average $36.78 across the nation.

Then why did it cost me $70?

Really? Semen?

2005-11-22T09:29:00.000-08:00

Wow. I typed the word semen into my blog one time and now I have a semen following? Wow.

My Life...

2005-11-21T16:07:00.000-08:00

Registered for winter and spring classes...here is what my academic life will look like in the coming months:

1/17-1/19 and 1/23-1/26: Strategic Management
Mondays 1/30-4/3: Advanced Seminar in Public Administration
Mondays 3/27-5/22: Nonprofit Management (I know that there is overlap...will deal w/later)
Tuesdays 3/28-5/23: Organization Theory

I have to take one big exam on December 17, but that one will be cake and then the comps on July 15. Even though I don't take comps until July, they are still letting me walk in June. Yay!

School + work + travelling = a very tired Jayme

Nov. 28-30: South Dakota
Dec. 9-11: San Simeon
Dec. 24-28: Lincoln
Jan. 20-24: Lincoln
Feb. 12-16: North and South Dakota
Mar. 5-18: New Zealand
Mar. 31-Apr. 2: Tahoe
Apr. 7-9: Austin
Apr. 28-May 1: D.C.
May 12-15: Seneca Falls
June 19-22: Denver
June 22-27: D.C.

I love my new ipod and want to put a million (or 7,500) songs in it and listen to it all the time.

I will I will I WILL go the gym this week!

I will finish one of my gigantic papers!

I will light cranberry and spice and pumpkin candles and play Christmas music until it actually feels like November in SoCal.

I will shut this damn thing off and go to class...

NAMASTE :)

Women are Evil

2005-11-21T13:34:00.000-08:00

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday
morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but
amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So .... you're a
man.

That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's
nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet
and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".
Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this
must be a sign from God!"

The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car
is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God
wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune. "Then she hands
the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle
andthen hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and
immediatelyputs the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No. I think
I'll just wait for the police...."

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are evil.
Don't mess with them.

More Ramblings

2005-11-17T13:45:00.000-08:00

1) Prolly is not a word. The word is probably. Really, it is. Look it up.

2) Went to a house Saturday night that used to be a whorehouse a long long time ago. There were hooker ghosts there that made the lights flicker.

3) I will be done with my masters this summer. I get to walk in the ceremony on June 2.

4) Considering having a Christmas party...a real grown-up one with wine and candles.

5) Bilko, I miss you! Call me!

6) It is fun to get drunk and play Scrabble.

7) Thanksgiving Day Menu

Butternut Squash Soup

Homemade Honey Wheat Bread

Turkey Breast with Lemon Wine and Butter Sauce

Roasted Potatoes

Fresh Green Beans with Garlic and Butter

Cranberry Sauce

Sour Cream Apple Pie

Pumpkin Creme Brulee

Typing it up like that all centered made me feel fancy :)

Antici.............pation

2005-11-16T10:18:00.000-08:00

T-minus 7 days until the opening of the movie I have been waiting for for the past nine years.

No day but today...

Funny...But Not

2005-11-08T13:52:00.000-08:00

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:

29 have been accused of spousal abuse
7 have been arrested for fraud
19 have been accused of writing bad checks
117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
3 have done time for assault
71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
8 have been arrested for shoplifting
21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year

Can you guess which organization this is? Give up yet?

It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group of idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.

Ramblings

2005-11-07T10:21:00.000-08:00

1) The movie trailers for Chicken Little freak me out because chickens aren't supposed to have teeth.

2) Welcome back Miss Margo!

3) I leave spam comments up because it feels good to have comments.

4) I get to go to North AND South Dakota this winter...yippeee!

5) Instead of pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving, I will be making pumpkin creme brulee. I am very excited about this prospect. I still haven't decided if I will attempt butternut squash soup.

6) I love having my cute cousins-in-law and their parents living in San Diego...it is so nice to be able to drive down and visit family for the first time in seven years. And cute little Hannah won all kinds of awards at her horse show. She is the best little hunter-jumper ever!

7) I really should be working right now :)

So, What Did You Learn in School Today?

2005-11-03T15:11:00.000-08:00

This looks like something my brother would have done.

Princess of Power

2005-11-03T15:10:00.000-08:00

See Ryan? It's She-ra!

Now I am having flashbacks to childhood. And I think that He-man might be gay.

Found in this week's wedding announcements

2005-11-02T13:02:00.000-08:00

Chrisman earned a Bachelor of Science degree in animal science from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln and a Master of Agriculture degree in beef industry leadership from Colorado State University. He is self-employed with bovine semen sales, an A.I. technician and animal evaluator with Chrisman Cattle Services and American Breeder Services Global.

Hee hee. Bovine semen sales.

We Are Totally Gangsters

2005-11-01T13:22:00.000-08:00

These were the coolest Halloween costumes ever. Dyl got them from a shoot that he is doing on John Dillinger (a gangster from the 30s). Totally authentic. I heart this picture!

Avoiding Work...

2005-11-01T11:56:00.000-08:00

10 firsts:
first boyfriend/girlfriend: Chad Proctor? Kind of eeew, but he was cool in 3rd grade!
first best friend: Amber Krivda or Robbyn Burns
first screen name: oehmster...still is
first kiss: Chad Proctor
first piercings: earlobes
first crush: Brandon from the Goonies
first music: Belinda Carslile and Paula Abdul...got both tapes for Christmas 1989
first car: 1990 White Ford Escort. It didn't last long.
first stuffed animal: I don't remember a stuffed animal, but I had a polka-dotted blanket names Spotty

9 lasts:
last cigarette: About 5 seconds ago
last massage: good question! Dylan?
last movie seen: elizabethtown
last phone call: Dyl
last cd played: Rent Soundtrack
last bubble bath: Sunday
last time you cried: Don't remember
last kiss: this morning before work
last date: I guess Saturday was kind of a double date...got dressed up in 30s costumes and went out on the town

8 have you evers:
have you ever dated one of your best friends: not really
have you ever skinny dipped: so much
have you ever kissed somebody and regretted it: kissing isn't worth regret
have you ever fallen in love: absolutely
have you ever been depressed: definitely
have you ever woken up and not known where you were: only every work trip I take where I wake up in another Marriott

7 of the last places you've been to:
1 Dallas, TX
2 Washington, D.C.
3 Puerto Vallarta, Mexico
4 Lincoln, NE
5 Seattle, WA
6 Jackson Hole, WY
7 Kansas City, MO

6 things you've done today:
1 Found out that I probably won't get a raise this year
2 Homework for Public Policy class
3 Ate leftover Mexican Mostacolli (yummy)
4 Decided on Christmas present for Dyl
5 Paid bills
6 Looked at pictures of cute kittens that live in Todd's backyard

5 favorite things in NO order:
1 pedicures
2 martinis
3 fleece blankets
4 Dylan
5 rain

4 people you can tell [almost] anything to:
1 Dylan
2 OC
3 Coworker #1
4 Nik

3 wishes
1 finish masters degree by summer
2 that the credit card would pay itself off
3 a promotion

2 things you want to do before you die:
1 travel the world
2 have babies and see their babies

1 thing you regret:
1 who needs regret?

Life Imitating Art?

2005-10-26T10:20:00.000-07:00

"Two top White House aides may be indicted related to the leak of the identity of an undercover CIA agent"

Why does this sound familliar??? Oh yeah, because it is the same plot as the West Wing. What do you want to bet that Law and Order picks it up and uses it too? "Ripped From the Headlines!!!"

Today is Lauren's last day. Very sad. I'm glad I don't have to move to Houston. If she moves all the way to Texas and that fuck of a fiance of hers breaks her heart, I will personally fly down there and kill him. I might not make a special trip to do it, I may combine it with a site visit or with Seth's wedding, but either way, I will kill him.

It's Official!

2005-10-25T12:46:00.000-07:00

I am a Californian. After five years of getting by with my Nebraska license, I passed the California driver's test this morning and received my temporary license. My real license will be mailed within a few weeks. Now, when I go to bars, I won't have to tell the bouncer where the birthdate is. Crazy.

Also, I want to give a shout out to Sgt. Bilko and his lovely bride. What is going on with your Cancun honeymoon plans?

Refreshments Forever!

2005-10-24T13:18:00.000-07:00

http://www.azpeacemakers.com/

So apparently one of my favorite bands, who I thought had broken up, are back together under a different name. For those of you who are unfamilliar with the joy that is listening to the Refreshments at full volume through the California desert with the windows down, you should try it immediately. The most widely known of their albums is 1995's Fizzy Fuzzy Big and Buzzy with the singles "Down Together" and "Banditos". The Refreshments also provide the theme music to King of the Hill.

They are playing in Solano Beach (which seems to be on the way to San Diego) on Nov. 4...O.C., you up for the trip?

Effervescent Housing

2005-10-20T13:22:00.000-07:00

"High home prices might not surprise Berson, but they worry Alan Greenspan, chairman of the Federal Reserve. In his June testimony before the congressional Joint Economic Committee, Greenspan said: 'Although a bubble in home prices for the nation, as a whole, does not appear likely, there do appear to be, at a minimum, signs of froth in some local markets where home prices seem to have risen to unsustainable levels.'"

Froth. Not a bubble. A bunch of cute, tiny bubbles. Doesn't help me buy a house.

Beam Him Up

2005-10-18T13:41:00.000-07:00

The remains of Star Trek's James "Scotty" Doohan, who died in July at age 85 will be blasted into space aboard Space Services Inc.'s Explorers Flight on Dec. 6.

I love this.

Singing in the Rain

2005-10-17T13:30:00.000-07:00

I love the rare times when it rains in Los Angeles. People are all so funny about it. They start driving like idiots. They all run to the windows to watch. It's silly, but it's contagous and makes me act funny too. I keep taking breaks to go outside and stand under the overhang and talk to the others about the fact that it is raining.

In other news, I am doing research for the new We the People textbook. I am supposed to come up with the background and a timeline for data security and privacy law. It is making my eye twitch.