The Artist Formerly Known as Oehm-Doggy

The day-to-day adventures of a naive mid-westerner living in the heart of lala land...

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Camping is Fun


How cowboy are we?

Big Bear was beautiful. It is really fun to offroad in the Jeep. It isn't so much fun to offroad in the Neon. Our horses, Blaze and Pigeon, were homosexual lovers. Tents are warmer if you zip them closed. The Lumberjack Cafe is a must for anyone visiting Big Bear Lake City. I kind of want an ATV, but I fear that it would make me trashy. I am really sunburned. I want to go on vacation again very soon. Working sucks when it is gorgeous outside.

Neiman. Out.

Friday, May 19, 2006

What to do?

I do not have a three year plan. I wish I could come up with one. So, I will be finished with my Masters in July. Then what? I can't just sit at home every night waiting for Dyl to get home. So here are the possibilities:

1) Get a masters in political science from CSUN
2) Get certified in French and/or Spanish from the local community college so that I am fluent
3) Become addicted to the gym and go every day
4) Night law school? (it's like 4 nights a week...that's hardcore!)
5) Try to find a hobby?
6) Keep trying to get side work as a grantwriter (haven't been able to so far)

I'm not an overachiever, I'm just bored and lonely after work when no one is around.

I tried yoga this week. I liked it, but it smelled like feet. If I ever got another tattoo, I would get the OM symbol (look it up, it's cute). I think that it would be a nice, meaningful and clever tattoo for me.

Off to write a paper on motivating nonprofit employees. Ironic that I am writing that paper at work instead of actually doing work...

Namaste

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Fishy

When an eel bites your thigh and you just want to cry...that's a moray.

There's a fish in that reef with a whole lotta teeth... that's a moray.

Put your hand it that crack and you won't get it back...that's a moray.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Smoking in Calabasas

As some of you may have heard, the great city of Calabasas, CA (where I work) passed a big ordinance regarding smoking in public places. Basically you can't smoke outside if someone asks you to stop. So, Ed is smoking a cigarette over in a isolated place far away from anyone. Jill spies Ed partaking of his vice. Jill walks within 20 feet, and suddenly Ed is now a criminal, not for what he was doing, but because Jill decided walk over to him. Ed must now leave, or be forced to alter his behavior immediately. Ed leaves the area, and Jill continues to follow, demanding that he extinguish his cigarette or be in violation of the law. Ed must eventually be subservient to Jill or face up to 6 months in jail and $1000 fine.

This happened to me today at lunch. I was walking across the parking lot to my car, minding my own business, enjoying my Camel Light. A woman, who was not even close to me, yells out "that's illegal". I yell back "only if I was close to you and you asked me to stop", thinking that would be the end of it. Instead she got closer to me and smirked and told me to put it out. Screw the law and screw the rich old woman who had nothing better to do. I did not put it out. I told her what she could do with herself. Well, not really, but I gave her a dirty look and continued walking. My coworker (a nonsmoker) who was with me threatened to punch her in the face for me though. It's nice when people have your back.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

It's Over!

National Finals is officially done for the year. New Jersey won (again), followed by California and Colorado. Luckily nothing went too wrong this year. I don't even feel like crying or killing anyone! And Brad Bare got to be a judge, which was just about the coolest thing ever, since he was on my team. If only Dr. Ted could see us now!